Category: Self Improvement

Author: Mark Manson
Print Copy | Kindle
 
This book has been on my wishlist for really long. I was all excited to start it off finally. I enjoyed the first few chapters for his style of writing. Only after 100 pages I realised that it is more of a book for entertainment than learning something new. He just consolidated the concepts from top self-improvement books and wrote it in his own style giving his own examples to drive the point home. Initially, it was confusing to understand what he was trying to say. But later you realise that there is so much unnecessary introduction to a concept and the actual concept is explained in a quick way.
 
All the above is criticism for the book, let’s get into why should you read the book. 
 
If you are new to self-improvement, then you should read this to know the gist of all the important self-improvement books out there. There is a reason why it is one of the best selling books in the market. Instead of you reading different books to understand the basics, he covers them all for you in one book, that too in an entertaining way instead of giving instructions.
 

Summary

 
Ch1 Don’t Try
 
The first chapter says “Don’t try”. That attracts you. Because it tricks you into thinking that you can be what you want to be without trying. But that is not the truth. All he says there is choose the few things which you want to excel at. It is about priorities. If you bark at every passing dog, you will never be able to reach the destination.
 
Ch2 Happiness is a Problem
 
He talks about the truths of life. Everyone has problems. Happiness comes from solving them. This is another way of telling that happiness is the journey and not the destiny
 
Ch3 You are not special
 
He drops another bomb to bring you to reality that you are not special. It is his way of saying that you can’t be good at everything. Choose your priorities and work on that daily to reach where you aspire to be instead of thinking you are special.
 
Ch4 The Value of Suffering
 
You might be successful in life but if your values don’t align with what success means to you, you will feel miserable forever. You choose your suffering. You decide what you want to feel good about and what you want to feel bad about.
 
Ch5 You are always choosing
 
Everyone has problems. But you can change something in your life when you take responsibility for it and act upon it.
 
Ch6 You’re wrong about everything
 
You see a certain facts and form beliefs. Your interpretation could have been wrong. It would not even be a fact but coincidence. Only if you are less certain about yourself, you have the chance to question your beliefs and be open for change.
 
Ch7 Failure is the way forward
 
You will learn more from all the failures you ever had than the tons of successes. Just do something about where you want to reach. 
 
Ch8 The importance of saying no
 
When you say no to all the things which don’t matter, you make time for all the things which matter. Unlimited freedom doesn’t take you anywhere. It is the freedom through commitment helps you narrow down on what is important to you in life.
 
Ch9 ….And then you die

You live your life fully doing what you need to do than live like you have forever. When you know that you are eventually going to die, make the most of it by focusing on where you want to reach.
 
Read this book if you want an entertaining way to learn self-help concepts. Skip this book if you have read enough number of self-help books already.
 
Happy learning the art of saying no!
 

Author : Cheryl Strayed
Print Copy | Kindle
 
After my best friend moved to another city, I acted as if everything was normal. “It has nothing to do with my daily life” I thought. But I came to terms with my reality after reading this book. It is okay to miss people whose company you enjoyed. The way Cheryl speaks is as healing as my friend did. I was missing the conversations I had with my friend. How I used to find them healing and empowering all at the same time just like Cheryl’s.
 
After reading Tiny Beautiful things, I felt very lucky and blessed in life. I did not have to go through all the miserable things the people who wrote letters to Cheryl went through. Yet in her replies, there were words which touched me somewhere deep. They gave me answers to the questions which had been lingering in my mind for quite a long time. Her writing is very beautiful. I felt that my pain had been empathized. Her words are so healing and powerful. This is no doubt one of the books you need to read once in a lifetime.
 
I learnt that you don’t have to be a therapist or psychologist to heal another person. You just have to know what life is all about. The ups and the lows. The beautiful and the ugly things. What to say and what not to. You just have to know what pain is and should have survived it. Only then you will be able to heal others.
 
Her writing is similar to Dushka Zapata, the writer I came across on Quora. I felt happy to discover Cheryl as another writer who can make me feel the same way as Dushka does. Even though Cheryl has been there since a very long time, I discovered her very late. But I am still happy to read her book.
 
Just like every other book I fell in love with,  this book also came to me at the right time. I initially got this book some time in April, but the reading the starting few pages made me felt that the book was not for me. But after looking at this book as a recommendation by few other writers, I was tempted to read it a little more to confirm if it is meant for me or not. Lucky me, I read it.
 
This book might not be for people who are cold and have no emotions. But if you are a warm person who loves reading personal stories and understanding human emotions, read it right away. You will regret neither the time nor the money you spend on it. I think reading this book was the best thing I have done in these holidays.
 

A few lines from the Tiny Beautiful things

 
For those who want to know what love is:
 

Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard. It can be light as the hug we give a friend or heavy as the sacrifices we make for our children. It can be romantic, platonic, familial, fleeting, everlasting, conditional, unconditional, imbued with sorrow, stoked by sex, sullied by abuse, amplified by kindness, twisted by betrayal, deepened by time, darkened by difficulty, leavened by generosity, nourished by humor, and “loaded with promises and commitments” that we may or may not want or keep.

 
For a parent or to be parent:
 

It’s devastating for a child to hear one parent speak ill of the other. In fact, so much so that the researchers found it was less psychologically damaging if a parent said directly to the child You are a worthless piece of shit than it was for a parent to say Your mother/father is a worthless piece of shit.

 
For those who are on verge of break-up
 

You aren’t torn. You’re only just afraid. You no longer wish to be in a relationship with your lover even though he’s a great guy. Fear of being alone is not a good reason to stay. Leaving this man you’ve been with for six years won’t be easy, but you’ll be okay and so will he. The end of your relationship with him will likely also mark the end of an era of your life. In moving into this next era there are going to be things you lose and things you gain.Trust yourself. It’s Sugar’s golden rule. Trusting yourself means living out what you already know to be true.

 
For those dealing with fear
 

It will also be a little bit scary, the way it always is when we’re brave enough to touch the rawest, realest truths. When we have the guts to look directly into the mirror and say Mary Worth thirteen times without pause and see—thrillingly, terrifyingly—that it was never her we had to fear. It was always only us.

 
For those who want to pursue passion
 

It’s hard to go. It’s scary and lonely and your bandmates will have a fit and half the time you’ll be wondering why the hell you’re in Cincinnati or Austin or North Dakota or Mongolia or wherever your melodious little finger-plucking heinie takes you. There will be boondoggles and discombobulated days, freaked-out nights and metaphorical flat tires. But it will be soul-smashingly beautiful, Solo. It will open up your life.

 
For those who are repenting mistakes
 

That life is long, that people both change and remain the same, that every last one of us will need to fuck up and be forgiven, that we’re all just walking and walking and walking and trying to find our way, that all roads lead eventually to the mountaintop.

 
For women
 

Doing what one wants to do because one wants to do it is hard for a lot of people, but I think it’s particularly hard for women.

 
She has something for everyone. Sweet advice. Not so sweet advice. Tough ones. But ultimately right ones.
 
Thanks Cheryl for the ‘Tiny beautiful things’. It was definitely beautiful reading it. If you want to read it, you can purchase Print Copy or Kindle  
 
What book moved you? Share it with us in the comments section.
 
Happy knowing Tiny Beautiful things!