Ram and Shyam went to the same coaching center to prepare for GMAT. They discussed together and wrote the exam on the same day. Ram scored 740 while Shyam scored 670. Shyam has highly dissatisfied and went around telling people how Ram was lucky to get 740 even though both prepared together.
What does Shyam gain through this?
- Sympathy for his loss
- Make hard work of Ram look like luck
But what does it actually look like for others?
Shyam is feeling entitled.
I once had a friend who went around telling how her manager treats her like shit when compared to others in her team and how she deserves the best projects. It was not just work. She used to talk the same way about every aspect of life. She was only comparing all the time.
I was so fed up after a certain time that I avoided going for lunch and snacks break with her.
What happens when you compare yourself to others?
1.You will sound entitled
Just like my friend, you will end up becoming a repeller. It feels annoying for people to hear to your endless ‘ I am entitled’ stories. You will also stop putting in efforts because you think you already deserve it.
2.People will avoid you
Your friends will understand that tomorrow you are going to compare yourself with them.
3.They will think you are a loser
You don’t become the champion by undermining others efforts.
4.You will reduce your chances at success
When your focus is on others, you are losing out on the bigger picture. The strategy. Work on yours. If needed, copy their strategy shamelessly as long as it is not illegal.
5.Your scarcity mentality will grow
There is enough luck for everyone on the earth. With others getting what they want does not reduce your chances of working towards it.
6.You will feel more inferior
Whatever you focus on, it will magnify. If your focus is on why others got and not you, only that inferiority feeling magnifies. You are comparing in the first place because you want to prove that you are not bad. Comparing erodes your self-esteem.
What to do instead of comparing yourself to others?
1.Are you ready to put in the same efforts?
Ram went home and put extra efforts for preparation. Shyam ignored that suggestion when Ram suggested. Does he have the right to compare now?
2.There is enough for everyone on the earth
Throw the scarcity mentality in the dustbin. Feel abundant. Congratulate your friend heartfully. Work on your path. Give your best.
Happy feeling good about yourself !