I have been to around 7 different therapists/psychologists/coaches. Every meet was a bitter experience. I always wondered “How are they running their business with their skills?” But the reality could be that what they were offering and what I needed were completely two different things.
Here I am, outlining what to expect out of a 1:1 session with me so that we are both clear on what I expect from you and what you can expect from me.
When should you book 1:1 sessions?
1.Desire for Change
Most of the clients come in only when they are tired of living the same old life. While it is good that they are taking some action towards change, I do wish they came in earlier to pick up some useful life skills which could have prevented their current life situation altogether.
Example: “I am tired of this marriage”
I don’t deny your opinion that your marriage is bad. I will help you differentiate between opinions and facts and provide scientific remedies on what you should do to fix it. If you don’t want to fix it, I will help you let go of the negative experience in an NLP based guided imagery. So that you are ready to start a new life either way.
2.Hunger for growth
Irrespective of where you stand in your life, if you have a growth mindset or want to inculcate one, you can reach out to me. Most of my clients come in for a growth in career. I wish they prioritised other areas of life as much as they did their career.
Why should you not focus on just one area of your life?
There have been days when I felt lost in my career but found solace in my personal life and all the tremendous growth I have seen. On a few days, I cry about why I am not able to improve my health despite all the efforts and those are the days I take solace in my stable career.
You can split your growth in life into these broad categories. For starters, rate where you stand in the below mentioned different areas on a scale of 1-10. You will know your scope for growth.
1.Mental health (Relaxation, detox, coping styles)
2.Relationships (Friends & Family)
5.Personal growth ( Hobbies, skillset, attitude)
Examples of what clients reach out for :
- I want to get back to studying
- I want to apply for an Australian PR
- I want to change my career stream
- I want to start exercising
- How can I be more productive
- I am not able to shut off my mind
- I want to improve the quality of my marriage
- How do I find the right life partner
- How do I find peace
I will help you define your problem, timelines and end goal. Then prescribe the actionable steps to witness the growth
3.Brainstorm your problem and declutter your thoughts
Many times the problem described by the client is completely different from the real problem. I will help you come to the root cause instead of just solving for the symptoms. I will help you provide a structure to your problem, provide new perspectives and identify your limiting thoughts which removes the blockage of looking at the bigger picture.
I will show you that you are not your problem. You are only dealing with an issue to correcting or improving an area of your life.
What happens in the therapy session?
I start with your basic personal details like name, age, marital status, work life. Then I will let you do the talking, providing prompts whenever required. Instead of trying to gather your entire life history, in the interest of time and value for the money you spend, I ask only the questions which will help us solve the problem. I will definitely ask relevant questions from the past if your first level of details were not clear to me. We will then go on to discuss actionable steps you can work on to resolve the problem or go for guided imagery sessions to directly make the changes at sub conscious levels.
1.Is coaching only for people with unsolvable problems?
Definitely not! Coaching is not about taking treatment when your health fails. It is about living a more fulfilled life.
2.When I can talk to my friends, why should I reach out to you?
I have depended on friends for years for them to be my brainstorming partners and emotional support during tough times. I have made a lot of poor decisions in life by listening to the advice provided from their own limiting beliefs and biased views about life. Your friends and family are equally struggling to cope with their own life and many a time rub their views on you. The biggest trap is when you ask and don’t follow, you risk the loss of trust in the relationship which is a double edged sword.
Now as a psychologist, I read an average of 50 books every year and update myself with the latest research on various topics. This helps me give you science backed different perspectives. So that you can learn healthy coping styles and make a well informed decision.
3.Do you prescribe tablets for feeling better?
No. I prescribe natural ways of producing happy chemicals in the brain.
4.What are the methods you use?
I use CBT and Guided Imagery with NLP modalities.
5.How do your solutions work?
I mostly suggest only tried and tested strategies. If I haven’t tried it before, I make sure that I have researched enough about it before I prescribe. I refuse to take sessions on topics which I have no idea about.
For guided imagery, I don’t have a standard script which I use for every client. My solutions are designed specific to your emotional needs and your identity. For example, for one of the clients I helped him to design a lifestyle to go abroad, for another client I argued against going abroad. It is totally about you and not my views on how one should live a life.
Most importantly, I help you diversify your solutions by showing you the choices you have to solve your problems. If you have been doing things only in one way so far, your understanding is limited to it. Choices and ‘if then’ rules make life more controllable.
Here is a sample of my emotional first aid kit to put up with my bad days which has improved my resilience tremendously.
6.What if I have difficulty opening up?
I am here to make you feel comfortable and safe to open up. I will provide you with the prompts to get you started.
7.How do I know my problem is big enough to reach out for?
There is no universal definition of a problem. If it is bothering you, it is a problem for you. You need to solve it to get peace of mind.
8.How is this different from group coaching?
Some of the clients find it difficult to ask questions in a group. Workshops are mainly on demand and might not be held immediately. For quicker results, you can choose one on one session over a workshop. If you still want to attend a workshop, fill this form requesting for the topics on which you want a workshop.
9.Is it safe to reveal my insecurities?
I follow the rules of Confidentiality. Your name will not be revealed anywhere and your testimonials are also anonymised if you don’t want to reveal your name.
10.Can I get a free first session to get the feel of it?
If you are asking for a free session, either you don’t believe me or you don’t believe that you will take action based on our discussion.
If you want to believe in the process I do, I am open to answer all your queries before the session.
If you don’t believe in yourself, you have to give me the chance to show you your strengths and weaknesses.
I did free sessions for 6 months and decided that I want to choose only people who want to really change their life. One way to filter for this set of people is to ask them to invest what they value in their life (most people value money) so that they are equally involved in the process.
If you can’t afford my fees, I can give you a discount or return your money when you take action and show me the results.
11.How many sessions will I need to see a change?
It totally depends on what you are reaching out for. If you are reaching out for help in brainstorming a problem, usually you will find your answer in one session. But if you are looking for a few major changes in life, it will take a couple of sessions based on the progress you make.
When should you not book a session with me?
1.You want to be stuck in a rut
If you want to continue to play the card of the victim and all you want from me is to provide sympathy and accept how miserable your life is, please feel free to skip scheduling a session with me. I invest my time only on people who want to come out of the rut and take charge of their life. I am sure you have a lot of friends who can give you the shoulder to cry and support you in unhealthy ways.
2.You don’t want to see the truth
Reality can be a bitter truth at times. Every time I unearthed my limiting beliefs, I was startled at the person I was. It was just not acceptable for me to be a person with so many faults. I accepted my faulty patterns and corrected them.
Once, I told a girl that her parents are the problem. She believes that parents can never be wrong. She didn’t give me the chance to help her out. She didn’t want to see the truth and never showed up again. I am not here to cut you off from your relations. I am here to help you set boundaries.
How do I book a session?
Fill up this form and I will reach out to you.
Happy changing your life!