“We are healed of a suffering only by expressing it to the full.” —Marcel Proust
Is there a tiny devil in your head which keeps speaking all the time? The tiny devil has only one duty. It harbours hate, jealousy and anger. It does not let them go and keeps on reminding you of the revenge. But does taking revenge solve the problem? Of what use is it to keep thinking negatively about something or someone day and night?
Does it not eat away your peace of mind? Is it not harmful to your well being?
It is okay my friend. Everyone has the tiny devil in his head. But what you need to do is to kill it. At least temporarily, if not permanently.
One way I found to kill the tiny devil is to write a healing letter.
What is a healing letter?
It is a letter where you write down your deepest feelings about an incident which is bothering you.
What are the types of healing letter?
Humans make mistakes. Some make small ones. Others big ones. We learn from them. Without mistakes and failing, there is no learning at all. Due to our mistake, a life must have been lost. You can’t bring back a life. But you can heal yourself from the pain.
You should not have done that. You should have picked up the phone when she called you. She needed you in that moment. You are not the reason for her death. But you could have prevented it. But you did not. It is an unforgivable mistake but you did not do it on purpose. It is okay. You will be careful next time. You can’t go against fate and correct a few things. I am forgiving you for what you have done. I have confidence in you that you will not make such a mistake again. You are a strong person and you will be able to stand strong against the storm.
Be the strong you.
You need not write whatever I have written. You can say all the mean things you intended to say and then say that you are forgiving for all of it. Bring the event to a closure.
You might have been angry with someone and that anger is eating you up. Then write down a letter addressing them.
Dear Mr. Made me angry,
I hate you from the bottom of my heart. I should have never dated you in the first place. You were the one who was after me for months. Now you have ditched me and said the relationship aged. I have done so much for you even though you never reciprocated back anything.
I have a big heart unlike you. I am letting go you off without cursing you. Stay fine.
Your big heart.
You can write anything. Whatever comes to your mind. Just let go off the pain. Let the paper take all your emotions.
Sometimes it is not a forgiving letter but emotions which cloud your mind. Misery which lingers in your head and does not let you focus on anything.Take a piece of paper and write non stop. There need not be coherence. Chuck the grammar. Don’t care which language you are writing in. Just keep writing it.
Do healing letters really work?
I once hurt a person by saying things which I should not have said. I felt bad. It was miserable. I decided to write a forgiving letter. And I felt really light after that.
In another instance, I was hurt that I did not get what I deserved. The pain was not letting me stay sane. I wrote a forgiving letter saying that may be he tried his best and he can’t do justice for everyone. I felt better after that.
Everytime I feel my mind clouded, I resort to my diary and start writing. Your mind just gets cleared and you will clearly know the action steps you need to take.
Do you have to send the letters?
No you need not send the letters. If it is a pure forgiving letter and want to make your relationship better with the person you can send it. Otherwise you can just write it. If it helps you, you can just tear the paper into 100 bits and throw it in the dustbin.
Once when I was 15 years old, I wrote down all the issues which were troubling me and tore the paper into really tiny bits. It was very relieving.
Have you written a healing letter anytime? How did you feel after writing one? If not are you going to write one? Share it with us in the comments section.