I went to watch Dunkirk movie today because I wanted to do something different.
Well, I am just rationalizing why I went to a movie. I am not a movie watcher. I haven’t watched a movie in the city I stay till today. But I still went.
So if someone asked I have to give a reason.
Did I enjoy?
No, I didn’t.
In order to make my day entertaining, I went to the bookstore in the same building and spent an hour there. That bookstore made my day and not the movie which is talk of the town.
Is doing something different bad?
Well, it is not bad. In fact, you should be doing something different at least once in a blue moon.
But why am I writing about all this now?
I told my friend that I went for this movie. She started laughing loudly at me. I asked her what was wrong in it. “There is nothing wrong in it. You should go for something you enjoy when you choose to do something different. And not something just for the sake of it” She was right.
But then the first attempt is excusable. Because it comes under experiment. How will you ever know that you will enjoy something or not unless you try it?
Even after you know what you like and what you don’t, if you still end up doing what others like?
You are becoming a slave for others and not setting up your own identity. When you were a baby, you were doing what pleased you. But then your parents started praising you when you did what they thought was right and punished you when you did what they thought was wrong.
Then came teenage and your peer group shaped the way you are. And in adult life, marriage influences how you become.
So there is never a chance for you to be yourself. You have always been someone so that you can fit in a group.
By not being yourself, you are denying yourself the right to live life to the fullest.
If you are always impressing others, you will end up being a Chameleon. You will not have your own beliefs and value systems. At the end, you will realise that your life has just gone by and you have achieved nothing because you did not have an identity and purpose in the first place.
By being yourself, you will
develop an identity
not worry which mask to put on
feel liberated and happier
What can you do today so that you start being yourself?
Step 1: Analyse your day
Don’t rationalize your activities. Instead question them like a third person. Why are you doing them? Is it because others expect you to do it or is it because you want to do it be happier?
Step 2: Are your activities harming or offending others?
If you are being yourself, is it affecting others lives in negative ways. Is your positive greater than their negative or the other way round?
Step 3: Change them step by step
Don’t change them all at once. Change one at a time. Don’t give shocks to people who live with you.
Step 4: Enjoy your new transformed self
Even though it is a time taking process, if you are first hitting the biggest activity which you do for others, you will feel immediate liberation.
Happy being yourself!