{"id":52,"date":"2017-06-27T15:52:00","date_gmt":"2017-06-27T15:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lensq.com\/?p=52"},"modified":"2017-06-27T15:52:00","modified_gmt":"2017-06-27T15:52:00","slug":"how-to-overcome-self-pity-and-become-mentally-stronger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lensq.com\/index.php\/2017\/06\/27\/how-to-overcome-self-pity-and-become-mentally-stronger\/","title":{"rendered":"How to overcome self-pity and become mentally stronger"},"content":{"rendered":"
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<\/div>\n
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Mona<\/b>: “I am the most unlucky person in the world. Entire world is against me.”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
Sona<\/b>: “What happened?”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
Mona<\/b>: “Everything bad happens only to me.”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
Sona<\/b>: “Why do you think so negatively?”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
Mona<\/b>: “What else do you think I should do? No one treats me well.”<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

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Does Mona really have a lot of problems to deal with?<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
May be! May be not!<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
She is not looking at her problems from outside but she is consuming herself in her problems.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
She is just dwelling in self-pity.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
\u201cIf you keep telling the same sad small story, you keep living <\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
the same sad small life\u201d \u2013 Jean Houston<\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

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Do you also enjoy self-pity? <\/span>

<\/span><\/p>\n

How many of the below thoughts do you get frequently?<\/span><\/h4>\n<\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
>I am the most unfortunate one.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
>No one has as many problems as I do.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
>My life will never get better.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
>God just wants to test me all the time.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
>Why can\u2019t I get better people in my life?<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
>Why do people fail to understand that my life is miserable?<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
>I don\u2019t want to go out today. I need to think about my problems.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
>There is no light at the end of this tunnel.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
>Life is unfair.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
All of us get these thoughts once in a while. But if you get even one of those thoughts frequently, you are dwelling in self-pity. You might not be feeling self-pity in all areas of your life. Even that one area where you are feeling it, is sufficient to ruin your life. <\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
When I moved to a new company, I hated the work there. I was always complaining. I complained about how the work is too low for my skill set. I cribbed about how the machines were too slow. I complained at the slightest sign of discomfort.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
Complaining didn\u2019t make my life better. People only hated me more. They looked at me as a complaint-box. If there was a meeting for mentioning issues, they would nominate me as there was no one who can compete with me in complaining. I didn\u2019t have any friends at all as no one wanted to be friends with a person who felt entitled. And my professional life suffered.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
This is what is going to happen to you too or might already be happening if you are stuck in self-pity. You will never be able to appreciate the good things in your life and life only becomes miserable day by day and you finally end in depression.<\/b><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n


<\/span>Here is what I have done to get out of it<\/span><\/h4>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
Catch yourself saying those negative sta<\/p>\n

tements:<\/b><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n


<\/b><\/span><\/div>\n
I have taken a firm resolution that I am not going to let any of those negative thoughts pass my mind. In the beginning it was difficult. I was constantly bombarded with negative thoughts. But I restrained myself from paying attention to them. This one habit has improved my life tremendously.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

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Move from complaining to solving approach:<\/b><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

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I have a problem. I can either solve it or ignore it. I choose solving wherever I could. I ignored what I could not. This gave me more control over life and moved me away from self-pity.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
Appreciate the good things in life:<\/b><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/b><\/span><\/div>\n
I spend a few minutes daily thinking about the good things in life. I appreciate the breeze across my face. I admire the sunset. I feel the water while it touches my lips and then goes down the throat. Appreciating the small things in life helped me ignore the petty things I was worried about.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/b><\/span><\/div>\n
Gratitude journal:<\/b><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/b><\/span><\/div>\n
Apart from appreciating things, feel grateful for the good things that happened to you, about the wonderful people you have in life. Send a thank you note to someone who cares for you.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
My problem was petty but I felt it was a big one. You might be actually dealing with a death of loved one or loss of property. But the magnitude of the problem does not give you permission to indulge in self-pity. <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
Get yourself out of the problem. Stop feeling that life is unfair. Follow the steps which I did to get out of self-pity. Feel mentally stronger.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
Life is too short to waste time on self-pity.<\/span>Get out of it and see the brightness which life has to show you.<\/span>

<\/span>Share your stories of self-pity and how you overcame it in the comment section below.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
Happy becoming mentally stronger! <\/i><\/b><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
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