On the first of January when I was thinking about starting a new beginning, I hit the dark night of the soul phase. While it started to be a self created phase, the Universe started testing me with external factors too and this process made me question not only from my side but people in my life on what kind of spiritual practices am I doing if I am succumbing to this.
To be honest, the best thing about me practicing spirituality has helped me acknowledge that this is a phase I am in. If not for that, I would have identified everything which has been happening with me as that is how my life is and that is who I am.
Now the key feature of this phase for me was how I have failed over and again in my life. It reminded me of the days when I did so well in mock exams for a competitive test and flunked the main exam because of my anxiety issues (CAT and JEE). All the times when I felt that I was treated unfairly in the corporate world. All the toxic friendships I have been in. All the times when I struggled to say ‘No’. Every negative thing which ever happened to me was flashing in my head.
In reality, I was being given an opportunity to access the depths of my subconscious mind without having to bring them out on purpose to release what is stored. If it were my previous self, I would have got caught in that drama. My newer self understands that this is a golden opportunity to release stored trauma without additional effort.
In daily life, it showed up as me waking up in the middle of night remembering the worst moments of my life and accessing where that pain lies in my body and releasing that. After that I access my inner child from that age and give her loads of love and go back to sleep after she feels comforted. It was indeed driving me crazy to wake up at odd hours with unbearable pain. But if I didn’t process that, I would have expended so much energy day in and day out to keep it stored underneath me.
During the day, I did extensive journaling where I was writing down my thoughts and feelings as if I was doing therapy with myself. This brought to surface numerous limiting beliefs I was storing and I was denying myself so much of expansiveness due to this lack mindset. It also brought to surface a lot of old patterns of worrying which were no longer required right now with the new tools I had in hand.
It wasn’t always this easy for me to be able to differentiate this phase and take immediate actions as I am doing today. As of today, when I write this I feel almost out of this phase as I can find glimmers of peace flashing from time to time which was almost impossible to access until yesterday.
What can you do during the phase of the dark night of the soul?
- Recognising that you are in this phase is your biggest win. If you don’t realize this, it can take a downward spiral starting with victim mindset, having miserable days, anxiety, panic attacks and in worse cases can lead to depression.
- Start from solving the victim mindset and find your way out of this. Talk to someone you trust, go for a therapy session, hold space for the inner child, journal, meditate.
- Be kind to yourself throughout this process. Your inner critical voice will have the highest power in this phase. If you give your kingdom to it, it will ruin it in no time. Kindness and self compassion are your best friends. Mindfulness is one of the best tools to use during this phase.
- Schedule some time in the day to do what you really love. Despite all the chaos, you will be able to feel and find yourself which will indirectly also help in calming down the inner critical voice because it now has the proof that you are worthy.
What should you not do during the dark night of the soul?
Don’t resist the flow of events. When you are resisting what is happening to you, you are increasing your pain. I wanted things to go my way and in my timelines which was the root cause of suffering. The moment I released that, I was able to lean into trusting the divine plan and peace restored. Your way of controlling things is for pseudo satisfaction which you have done over your lifetime and now is a time to rewire those habits.
How can I help you?
- If you are struggling to find a way out all by yourself, you can schedule a session with me where I will help you navigate this phase and restore you back to peace
- Alternatively, you can attend a workshop on Shadow work which I am doing a little later this year
Happy finding your peace!