“Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
It was the most common advice I often received. I ignored it thinking that, “If I stop being hard on myself, how will I ever achieve anything?“
Every time I pushed myself harder, I ended up failing. Not just in my career but also in my personal life. I put immense efforts with little to no appreciation. Every time I pushed myself in my personal life to please people, I ended up feeling more lonely and depressed.
As a result, there was more self loathing and more pressure with little to no self love, resulting in another break down.
Honestly, it wasn’t easy to come out of any of this. But I definitely decided enough was enough. I wanted to end the game of chasing perfection. But it was too late by the time I made that decision. All the resentments I held added on to my body as fat. Irrespective of how happy I am, my face still looked sad most of the time.
I wanted to give life another chance and started to unburden myself – layer by layer. The first layer was about removing the mask of what I ought to be vs what I am. The next layer was about finding that compassion for the child within me on whom I was very hard all the time. Layer by layer, I began to unpeel it and was surprised by the results I saw after each layer. I learnt some key lessons that
“The only person you ever need to forgive is yourself”
When I did that, I started receiving apologies from others. But it didn’t matter anymore. I noticed that my heart opened and there were a lot of things to process. I take them one by one and slowly make peace with them. Initially the 90% healing can be done. The rest of it is a life time process to keep unearthing, processing and integrating. You have to learn the right way to start it to keep the momentum going.
Today, I can tell you that I am okay with the mistakes I make. I am not hard on myself for a missed opportunity. I can become a self loving human within a few days of a deeply traumatic incident (previously my turn around time was a few years). I stopped taking things personally. If the other person has negative emotions towards me, it is about them and not about me. I can hold that space for my inner child to heal whenever it needs. I am at peace with the flow of Universe. All thanks to self-forgiveness that the nagging voice in my head has calmed down drastically.
If you would like to learn from me on how to find self forgiveness, below are more details about the workshop.
What is self-forgiveness?
We are all humans. We are here to make mistakes and learn some lessons from it. But what we do instead is shut down a part of ourself after a mistake or over react to it for the rest of our life.
When a lot of people say “I move on”, what they actually do is shut down. If they say, “I am taking action”, they are trying to overcompensate.
In the workshop, you will learn what is the right way to deal with forgiveness so that you make peace with the incident in a healthy way.
What is the structure of the workshop?
- Introduction: We will go deeper into the skeleton of self forgiveness – what, why, how and learn about how the exercises you will be doing for the rest of the month to achieve the same.
- Meditation: Your body is more receptive to healing in a relaxed state than in an awake state. We will do body relaxation followed by inner child healing to achieve deep lasting results.
- Conclusion: We will close the workshop with a doubt clearing session and experience sharing session and guidelines on how you can continue doing this for the rest of your life.
For timings and other details, you may contact here.
If you want to check out your current levels of self-compassion, check out here.
Happy finding self-forgiveness!